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Inaction is a weapon of mass distruction
November 2007
your average fangirl
Wed, Nov. 28th, 2007 06:02 pm
On the twelfth day of Christmas, queenallie03 sent to me...
Twelve sims drumming
Eleven faeries piping
Ten europeans a-leaping
Nine accents acting
Eight swords a-reading
Seven elves a-sleeping
Six humanities a-daydreaming
Five cla-a-a-assic quotes
Four star wars
Three indiana jones
Two peace demonstrations
...and an u2 in a bloc party.
Get your own Twelve Days:

How awesome!!

Things with me and Nikki are doing well. Still waiting for Erika to leave, but I think finding the two of us sleeping in her and Nikki's bed when she got home from work might help her leave soon. We weren't even touching, but she was super pissed. Nikki was surprised that she didn't wash the sheets. XD

One of the sucky things about being me is I'm sort of a natural profiler of people's behavior. It's why I'm good at manipulating people. I use it on my friends sometimes without noticing I'm doing it. Like how I told Nikki that I thought most of her relationships with people were based on sex and that I don't want ours to be, even if I were sleeping with her. That was when she said she liked me too much too soon.

Well she's really cocky, always saying how awesome she is. I know a bit of her history and I'm learning more and I realized that the reason she does that is because she doesn't actually think so. So last night I said "You do know you really are awesome, right?" I was the first person, in 30 years, to tell her that. I could have cried when she told me. She should have been told it everyday. She actually said that she had done nothing for or to me to make me think that. So I listed everything off. Like, I don't know, taking me in. She gave me money for gas when I thought I might run out. She bought me arch supports so my feet won't hurt. She said as long as I believe it then that's what counts, so I told her it helps if she thinks it too. I also told her that she is as deserving of love as any other person. I don't think she believes that either.

She really does deserve someone who wants her to be happy and not someone who is using her for sex. I hope I can do that.

Current Mood: cold cold
Current Music: Lily Allen


your average fangirl
Sun, Nov. 25th, 2007 03:05 am

If I disappear for a while and you hear about the police trying to find me I am not in the Bahamas and I did not kill Erika.

Seriously though. She's a bitch who I hope lives a very long life and lives it alone, and then dies alone thinking back, the whole time, on how she fucked up her life by being a manipulative bitch who doesn't deserve to ever be happy.

Shit was pulled last night. Shit you don't pull on your worst enemy, much less the woman that you are trying to get back with you.

I swear if she ever makes Nikki cry again, or does anything to upset her so much that I come home from work and find her on my floor sleeping with my stuffed animal because I'm not there to comfort her, I will let loose my psychopathic personality. My apathy is the only thing that keeps my torturing, manipulative personality under wraps, but I have no apathy for her now.

She would be hard to move and blood is notoriously difficult to clean up, so I am trying to refrain.

But hey, one good thing, my room is clean and so is my laundry. And the kitchen, and the living room, and my bathroom.

Current Mood: pissed off pissed off


your average fangirl
Sun, Nov. 18th, 2007 04:44 pm

I swear, for loving winter I really freaking hate it.

I have an awful cough right now. Like really bad. It's from a chest cold, but having gotten bronchitis 2x means it's worse for me than just a regular chest cold.

So, Nikki and I went on our first date last night :D We went to Texas de Brazil and were mobbed by men with meat. It was really fun and good tasting. Well then we made out way to Lazerz for Cassie's birthday celebration and we got there about 45 minutes earlier than them. So we sat in a chair and listened to the music and watched these two girls try to sex up the bar and this one guy dance by himself on the floor. At one point Nikki freaked a bit and said she was frustrating herself because she wasn't letting herself touch me.

Well Cassie, her sis and Greg showed up and the club got busier. I danced a bit and then had an amaretto sour. Cassie tried to say I looked tipsy off of it. Silly girl. She liked it though. Well then there was some song where you did a bit of line dancing thing and so I dragged Cassie out there because she didn't think she could learn it. I taught her and we had fun and I'm sure Nikki was amused. We danced in a circle later and then it was time to go home at about 2. Well we were going to have an after party. Cassie and I got drunk, but mine wore off, it was just because I hadn't had anything to eat. We played Guitar Hero and everyone left around 5:30-6am.

The party then moved into my room. Kissing Nikki has now moved from slightly weird to I like it. So we made out. Seriously made out. She likes when I bite her. And scratch. Well things are progressing nicely when all of a sudden it's too intense for me and I have another mini panic attack. She's really good about it and I kind of cry a little, when I ask to blow my nose because it's really running. Oh, never mind that, it's a nose bleed(I get them all the time in winter). She has blood all on her shirt and it's on my sheets and pillow a bit. >< How uncool. Well I handle it and I'm all better.

I come back and Nikki asks if it's bad that she still wants to kiss me. I say yes because I didn't brushed my teeth after the nose bleed, but she didn't care. I told her if she made my nose bleed again I would kick her. We made out some more, but she was getting rather excited. I am not comfortable going any further so I try and slow things down. Then we started talking. I know she's 30 and she's had sex a lot. It's not a mystery to me on how she seems to know so many things. But from what she says it seems that the only reason people are with her is because of that. So I felt silly but I told her that I don't want to like her because of her sexual prowess. I want to like her because I like her. She said she wasn't banking on sex getting her anywhere so I explained the reason I said that is because she talks like it usually is the only thing. She said it was so I modified saying that even if we were having sex I don't want that to be the reason I like her. I thought she laughed a little but she said she didn't so I asked what she was thinking. She said she was thinking she was fucked. I asked why and after a little bit she said it was because she liked me too much too fast.

It's exciting but scary how much she likes me. And I'm glad I'm kind of forcing things to go slowly because I don't want things to explode into awesome and then supernova and we're left with nothing. I really like her. I just don't know if I'm going about things right. It's frustrating her and I don't want to frustrate her to the point that she doesn't want to deal with it. And it's almost ironic because usually everyone is all crazy in love with her and she's not understanding it, but it's switched. Apparently there's just something about people with strongly magnetic personalities.

*sigh* anyone have an idea for what I should name my soap opera? That way I can tag it and things.

Current Mood: hopeful hopeful
Current Music: The Chemical Brothers - Marvo Ging


your average fangirl
Mon, Nov. 12th, 2007 09:07 pm

Everyone has their own daemons. Little fiends who rear their heads and make us weak. Feel lost and alone and scared. They send us seeking for comfort. A hug, a smile. Assurance that we truly aren't alone in this wide world full of so many souls who suffer hurts like us.

Some are larger than others. Some more deeply embedded and thorny. But everyone has them. We seem to forget this fact that everyone who walks by us in the street, everyone who lives thousands of miles away is exactly like us in this.

And we always apologize for them. Apologize to others when they show up. When they force us into small children crying for their mother or father in the dark after a nightmare. When they make us shake as though we stood in the snow in naught but what we were born in.

They will always be there. But so will those who comfort us when they sneak out. Those people who ask no questions, who demand nothing of us. Who only give us their arms. Their love and understanding and create a small bubble of peace and hope and warmth.

I hope everyone who reads this has someone like that. And that you will be someone like that for another.

Current Mood: exanimate exanimate
Current Music: Dave Mathews Band - Two Step


your average fangirl
Sat, Nov. 10th, 2007 09:13 am
At 3am I claimed Nikki as my girlfriend. She was single all of about 2 hours.


Current Mood: sick sick


your average fangirl
Fri, Nov. 9th, 2007 02:51 pm

Yesterday was an awesome Girls Night Out.

Kansas and Nikki and I hung out. Nikki was supposed to have clinicals but she didn't go because her cold got worse and she couldn't sleep because Erika was sick. Around 1:00 she came into my room and we just laid about until Kansas came over at 2:30 and then she was EVIL. She turned the light on to get us up. We got her to turn the light off and then she crawled into my bed too. We hung out for about an hour when Nikki's sister, Veronica, locked herself out of her house and we tried to help her. At 5 we finally left to go shopping.

Kansas wanted to go to some sex shops and Nikki said that Oak Lawn would be the nest place to go. Well goodness if I didn't just HAVE to go. Why? Don't know. But we went to Oak Lawn and every time we got out of the car Kansas would fight me to not have to sit in the backseat, but every time I would win. The first Condom Sense was alright but Kansas wanted to look at clothes. Oh, and seriously? Some of the things in there are awful. They had an inflatable doll that was a "Grandma I'd Like to Fuck." So wrong. But they have a way to make your iPod more versatile. iBuzz attaches to your iPod and is a vibrator to your music. They have iEverything!

Then we drove more into Dallas and found a larger Condom Sense that had costumes and, just like when I went to Electrique Boutique, I had to try something on along with her. Nikki was not going to complain, of course. So I need an XL because of how broad my hips and shoulders are, thanks stupid German heritage, and we could only find up to a Large, which I really am. Darn huh? Well then we find the XL section and Kansas said "We just didn't go down far enough." The guy behind the counter heard and said "Girls never go down enough. Or so my straight friends tell me. I don't really know." XD So I tried on a hippy costume and was all yay I'm done, when Nikki slid a french maid costume under just as I had put my pants back on. I kicked it back out and was all NO! Kansas made me try it on though, but I didn't take my pants off because the back of the skirt was like maybe 2 inches long. That would be a no, thank you. So I told her to grab another one since that was not going to be shown. Well she grabbed an Alice in Wonderland costume and it made me feel like a 12 year old but it did look good on me. I am going to try and see if Kansas can send it to me so I can put it on photobucket and show people. They came with super cute tights and it was only 40$. Here it is on ebay

After that we went to a place called Nandina's and it was awesome. We got a drink that we got to name and then when Kansas and I went to the bar to get another one the bartender was all flirty and so was the Manager. The manager said he liked my shirt and when we asked how much the drink cost because it wasn't one on the menu the bartender said it was 7$. The Manger asked how much we wanted to pay for it and I said 5.50? He was all No, but then he said he would do it for us. :D Then the bartender made the original version of the drink and Kansas and I split it. Then he made a shot called a Bazooka, it had Hennessy, Hypnotica(?), sweet and sour and saki. It was amazing. We got that shot for free. :D

After that it was Pepsi and Rum back at the house and a couple shots of rum. Nikki put out a strobe light and put some music on. I ended up on the floor, on purpose, because I could feel the bass and the strobe was cool on the ceiling.

She told me I looked hot laying like that. She had to physically make herself leave my room when we all went to sleep. She told me that sometimes it's hard for her to leave the house to go to work because I'm still here.

Then Erika confided in me saying that she hopes she can work things out with Nikki but she is afraid that Nikki has just given up. She is talking about sending her sisters stuff home and saying that my cats can come back because she has "gotten used to me." God she has no clue and I still feel so conflicted about everything and just awful. I really want Nikki to say what we are/are becoming and when Erika is leaving and Kansas is moving in so I can feel like there's some solidity. There's no limits or rules and Erika is still trying to fix everything and Nikki is just like, fuck it I am going to go out and drink and have people over and not ask; I can do what I want to now.

*sigh* I wish someone could tell me what to do.

Current Mood: uncomfortable torn
Current Music: E Nomine - Bibelworte Des Allmächtigen


your average fangirl
Wed, Nov. 7th, 2007 11:40 pm

So I am about to flail and start crying because I so don’t deserve this. (all of this meant in the good way, not the bad way)

A small bit of background. When I was 15 the only other person to kiss me(the one I don’t count), Kolby, sexually molested me while at school(nothing overly awful, it was a hand up the skirt and he didn’t stop when I asked). Last Tuesday was literally the first time I was able to tell someone what happened and it’s been getting easier. My mom knows about it now too, which makes me feel a lot better. I’ll have to tell my Dad about it, which will be interesting. Along with the fact that I’m kind of together with a girl. He knows to suck it up and deal if he wants to keep talking to me though, so it’ll be fine. He’ll just get all Dad about it, ya know?

Well because of Kolby I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone because I would fuck it up before it began and then run and hide. Well I so don’t want to fuck this up with Nikki but it’s still there. When she kissed me I had a mini panic attack and she was really cool about it, trying to get me to relax and not doing anything more.

This evening at work, yay for stealing intarwebz at work!, we were texting and joking about a bunch of stuff when I told her my friend Cassie had joked with me saying I wasn’t allowed to have sex before she did because she was slutier than I was and that just wouldn’t be fair. Well she didn’t catch the joke part and all of a sudden we were having a Talk.

She said she noticed I had kind of backed off and that she figured I needed time to think and so she wasn’t going to do anything until I said it was okay. I told her that there’s still that part of me asking why I haven’t fucked it up and ran off yet and it’s because the other part doesn’t want to fuck it up. This then confuses the whole me and add the tension of Erika in the house and my Mom in town I had no idea how to behave. It’s all new to me.

She then said that I could go at whatever pace I needed to and she would just go along with it. There was no pressure and that she was here for me for whatever I needed. She had to work stuff out before so she knows what it’s like and she’s not going to do anything that I’m not fine with.

Gah I am about to flail and cry. I knew she was kind of unsure about me because she bought me twizzlers because she remembered I had said I could eat just twizzlers until I died and I would be happy. I wish she didn’t have clinicals tomorrow but Kansas is coming over so we can have girl time and I can spaz about Nikki and we can make sugar cookies. Because Nikki likes them.

I wonder if we have a relationship title yet?

Current Location: locked in Petsmart
Current Mood: grateful grateful
Current Music: 60's music and love songs, because this radio station so helps


your average fangirl
Tue, Nov. 6th, 2007 11:17 am
Today, around 8:30-8:45am I had my first kiss I will count. :D

Current Mood: loved loved


your average fangirl
Sat, Nov. 3rd, 2007 08:22 am

So shit went down on Tuesday, nothing that involved me, to Erika's knowledge, and now they are officially broken up.

So that's that for the Gosh do I Go For Her ness, but now I'm at the Ahh! Relationship?! part where we're still kind of testing the waters. I told her about Kolby so she knows I have physical intimacy and trust issues, but she also knows (I love how we say things without saying them) that she wouldn't have to wait a long time or even get me drunk to kiss me.

She called me from work last night, twice. She keeps telling me I distract her, not that I help by wearing tank tops around the house with my frilly girly bra that conveniently has a strap that slips off on the side where she sits(none of it is on purpose of course). When I got home from work just now she hugged me and buried her face in my neck. She looks good in jeans and a black shirt.

I am so far gone, I can already tell.

Current Mood: content content


your average fangirl
Tue, Oct. 30th, 2007 12:24 am

So I seem to have a problem with becoming attracted to women who are already in relationships. They also both have have partners, one a spouse the other a partner of 7 years, who have military experience. Greg says it's because I'm a thrill seeker, but let me say I am not seeking this.

I live with Nikki and Erika. They have been together for 7 years officially and an extra year when Nikki was working on stealing Erika from her girlfriend. Nikki and I hang out around the house a bunch because both of us work nights and are normally up then anyway. We like the same TV shows too so when she's home we kinda chill on the couch and watch stuff. Erika has to work at evil hours, like 7am when she has to drive an hour to get to work, so I don't get to hang out as much with her but I really like her.

I don't know when things seemed to shift, but they did and now I have found myself in a semi uncomfortable position. Nikki and I have the same sort of sense of humor and we talk about random things and like to mess with each other. When on the couch she might lay her head on my leg and I seem to have an inability to have something fluffy on my lap and not pet it, so I'll play with her hair. Greg and I were joking about how I wear a slip lead at work in case I need one with the dogs so he took a picture of my while he was holding it saying I was his bitch. I told Nikki and she started on about how no one should own me and I should choose whoever I wanted to be with. Then she got more joking when I had told her that I would pick her over Greg to own me if they fought, as he tried to take what was hers. She said she would be a good owner and I joked that I would have to feed myself, so she asked if that made her the pet. I told her that I would have to get her a collar and more joking ensued.

I got home that morning and she was woken up by Erika after she'd left and I had to work that evening, but she had to leave the house around 3-4pm so I figured we could hang out and then I would sleep before I had to go to school. I wanted to show her the Axis of Evil tour that I had downloaded, but it wasn't working so we watched Torchwood on my DVR. We were in my bed and just sort of laying next to each other with our legs side by side or something small like that. Then slowly it shifted to where I was laying right next to her on my side because I was cold and kinda sleepy even though I was paying attention.

My neck hurt because of how I was laying so she massaged my neck and after that she laid backwards and she pulled me back to lay on her. After that I was glad I had watched the show because she began petting me. Nothing really bad, just rubbing her hand along my arms and playing with my hair. Around 1 we had no more episodes so we got a small lunch and then started watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. After eating I was laying on my side and she had me move back. I was able to pay a bit better attention but there was a time when I actually thought "Danger Will Robinson," not only making me glad I recognized what was happening, but also showing my complete and thorough nerdom.

She ran her thumb across my bottom lip. Along with along my stomach and my neck and my upper chest. She seems to like my ears also.
There's actually moreCollapse )

For the first time I find myself with someone that I am actually physically comfortable with and I can't actually have her. I don't even think she would stay interested in my for very long because I've told her that I would be a challenge to get into bed and she isn't the type to be in a relationship for the cuddle time or the talks. I want to make myself stop, but that never has worked before.

Current Mood: guilty unsure
Current Music: BlackStreet - No Diggity


your average fangirl
Fri, Oct. 26th, 2007 03:57 pm
why do all the things I want already have a home?


Who hates me this much?

Current Mood: confused confused


your average fangirl
Tue, Oct. 23rd, 2007 04:39 pm


- 2 teaspoons of fun
- a heaping teaspoon of seduction
- a pound of intelligence

Mix together and serve hot.
'What is your personality recipe?' at QuizGalaxy.com

yay for Cassie hang out time and making yummy dinner :)

Current Mood: chipper chipper


your average fangirl
Tue, Oct. 16th, 2007 04:02 am

Comment on this post. I will choose seven userpics from your profile and you will explain what they mean and why you are using them. Post this along with your answers in your own journal so others can play along.

Mine are from anandrine

Rafael's motivation by Kaz//<3<3<3<3
This is an icon of Rafael Nadal, my fav tennis player, after he won the French Open his first year there at the tender age of 18 years and 2 days old. I love the cropping on it and he such a fierce fighter and the whole time he played like he knew that there was no way he wouldn't win. It's sort of a random icon, but I use it if I'm talking about him or something that I want really bad.

I gave pictures of him to biteme65 and she made them into icons for me :)

Fly away Richard//by biteme65
Another tennis icon. This is of Richard Gasquet, another of one of my boys, the best French player, because Gael Monfis is not as good of an overall player as he, but I digress. Another by Kaz. I love it because I think tennis is a sport that takes good pictures and he looks about to leap off the ground. A general icon that I use when there's nothing that matches what I'm talking about.

Interesting = dead//by dknightshade
Oh Firefly/Serenity, how I love thee. This is a take on a line from the Serenity movie. Quoth imdb:
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: This landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Define "interesting".
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: [deadpan] Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?
I use it when being sarcastic, or back when I talked about Firefly/Serenity. ;_; I want oodles of money so I can pay to produce it.

France = Invader Hater//by maitopher_nes
This is a line said by Jon during The Daily Show. I find it amusing and I use it when talking about France/TDS.

Reading LMS//by lioncourt82
This is a picture from Little Miss Sunshine of Dwayne reading Thus Spoke Zarathusta by Nietzsche. I love that movie so so so much and the fact that Steve Carell said his name correctly! I use it when I talk about reading.

I <3 my boys//by de_gozaru
This is the shot of Steven kissing Jon on the cheek when Jon won his Emmy for The Daily Show. I just love those two so much and if I'm having a crappy day I can count on The Daily Show/Colbert Report to make everything better. Used when talking about the two of them.

Can I live here?//by iconomicon
Only the greatest intersection in the world! It's Steven/Jon at it's finest :)

Current Mood: chipper chipper
Current Music: Dmitri Martin - Some Jokes


your average fangirl
Tue, Oct. 9th, 2007 05:57 pm
So I have been insanely busy with jobs of crazy and then trying to sleep because of jobs.

I had a party where people got drunk and sang karaoke and passed out on the bathroom floor, asking for 15 more minutes before we got them to go sleep on the couch. I kicked ass at Ice Ice Baby. There's a video of me dancing the Macarena(and got 1$ for it) while all of the Mexicans in the room were unable to sing the song because it went to fast.

I am enjoying working at PetSmart and was so ready to steal a couple of puppies from there. Max and Goldie are Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Look at that cute face!!! But I think I would get fired if I did that.

Kansas and Nikki and I have been hanging out a lot and we are going to go shopping for a costume for Halloween soon. Nikki and Erika and I are going to Oak Lawn for Halloween, so it'll be a blast, but I will need a costume(we want Kansas to come too but we'd need to get her a fake ID. She's just 11 months too young!). I don't know what I want to go as because I wanted to go as a puppy, which fits my personality and all I really need are fun clothes and then a tail and my hair in pigtails. But Kansas likes to dress in really fun costumes so she wants to go to Electric Boutique and I did a survey of the ones they have on their website. I found some I would LOVE to wear. They have an Alice in Wonderland Mad Hatter costume(Heather wants BAD), a Queens Guard costume(the hat, the hat, oh my god the hat!!), a Can Can Girl from the Olden Days costume and two German Beer Girl costumes. I don't know which one I like most! *frets* And should I for go that and go as a puppy? Leash and collar = fun. What should I do?

Ah well. Laundry time and I have work in a couple of hours so I need to get gas and fix some foodage.

Current Mood: happy happy
Current Music: Fleetwood Mac - World Turning


your average fangirl
Tue, Sep. 11th, 2007 01:28 am
So Heather will not being going to school this semester. It is too much of a hassle and it will just be easier for me to skip this semester and get everything sorted out and paid off and ready for next semester.

I also found out today that I was hired for my 2nd job! My interview was at 1pm so I was there by 12:50. I signed some things and by 1 I was hired :D I now work the 10pm-7am shift at the local PetSmart PetsHotel. It is a boarding kennel that deals with both cats and dogs, but mainly dogs. You can see the video here(seriously watch it, it's rather funny). That bit about the cleaning and sanitization? That'll be me. That and the overnight watching thing.

And can I just say I really can't believe I'm working there? Listen to one of the special things you can get on your package: "You can alos take advantage of our Bone Booth. Just call during Lobby hours and we'll bring your pet to the phone if you want to chat. After all, we understand your special bond and know you may want to keep in touch." (also, the typo is not mine) How freaking posh and silly is that? XD

But it's a start of min 7.00 up to 7.50 and hour and it's 4 nights a week, a total of 32 hours a week so I could earn a grand a month. And if I'm concidered full time I could get benefits like insurance and things. OMG I could get new glasses, maybe even contacts, and have my teeth checked out! XD I'm so superbly excited.

I did my drug test today and should find out Thursday at the latest when I start working, but they want me to start ASAP. Cheers for being paid to clean and play with animals. I do it anyway. :D

Current Mood: excited excited
Current Music: Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist


your average fangirl
Sat, Sep. 8th, 2007 02:02 am

I am drunk. apparently I am suppose4d to drunk dial some one but this is the new age in which people drunk blog. or something. so forgive spelling mistak4es, but yeah.

Nikki and Erica are the first people to see me drunk, but Nikki had a whole bottle of wine, and some of what I had, but I had almost a half of a bottle of bacardi rum ron solera. That stuff is nice. I need to buy some later. We watched battle royal, AND THEN DRANK. Nikki SAID i NEEDED TO BECAUSE SHE WAS HAVING WINE BUT i DON'T LIKE WINE. sOorry about the caps lock) we checked to see what she had and she had some rum. I know I liked rum, but this was awesome rum. It didn't kick as much, and it was nice in pepsi and I have lots of pepsi.

This is going to be fun to read tomorrow. It's fuzzie now because I don't have my glasses on. I am going to bed because I have work tomorrow at 9am and I must function.

Also, Nikki's foot got more action that any person I know, and we danced XD

I hope I don't get a bad hang over, but I had some Excedrin earlier and have been drinking a bit of water now.

Current Mood: drunk drunk
Current Music: wooooh!!!


your average fangirl
Thu, Aug. 30th, 2007 03:53 pm
So stuff has happened. I now have a new place of residence. More details to come later, needless to say I am apparently so incredibly rude and disrespectful that damn if Magen is going to live with me. Also, in her words "screw you and have a nice life."

Dear umbrella, ella ella ay ay ay
when I get you and put you in my backpack you stay there. don't do some weird passes through solid fabric to no longer be with in access when a freak rain storm starts.
with very little love,
The soon to be drenched when having to walk to class, Heather.
p.s. I do not take delight in being the Rare Spotted Heather, or the Rare Amphibious Heather.

Off to go see if I am in the newspaper.

Current Mood: wet


your average fangirl
Wed, Aug. 22nd, 2007 07:46 pm

am at work on break. Yay for breaks.

So, lets just say shit has hit the fan and I can't speak of it right now because I don't want to get pissed or start crying. Sufficed to say I don't know if I will be in school this semester because, once again, I have no place to stay, and I have 2 weeks to find somewhere.

Can't get a dorm, it's too late. Can't get an apartment; lack of funds and I will have to be able to move out in 4 months.

Nikki might be able to let me use her apartment since one of her roommates might be gone for the semester, but it's still a big If right now.

Oh yeah. Royally fucked in the ass without lube.

Thanks life.

Oh, and if my horoscope is actually correct and all of the crap from the past 2 years is ending, Saturn can blow up for all I care. Stupid planet. I don't need to learn lessons. That's what GI Joe is for.

**EDIT** Oh, and Nathan was talking about man nipples and "man meat" at work today. Yeah, he is not helping his cause.

Current Location: work
Current Mood: cranky cranky


your average fangirl
Sun, Aug. 19th, 2007 06:58 pm

because all of my cool memes come from anandrine

Comment on this post. I will choose 6 interests from your profile and you will explain what each of them means (and why you're interested in them).

Au Revoir, les Infants - oh my goodness one of the most amazing foreign films I have ever seen. It is a story about a young french boy, Julien, who is sent off to a catholic school during WWII. He is the smartest one there until a new boy, Jean , shows up. Jean, it turns out, is a Jewish boy being hidden there. After some tense moments at the beginning, especially when Julien finds out Jeans secret, they become friends. It is a touching, heartbreaking film and it is put together so wonderfully. It makes me want a cute little french boy. I mean, look at them!

and no, their uniforms and the poster and the fact that they read softporn together does not make me think naughty things

faeries - I love them in all of their incarnations. The sweet ones, the finger biting ones, maybe not the ones from Torchwood, the many different forms of the Fae in King Arthur stories. It's just amazing to see the common themes of them in all of the different forms they take and how they seem to fit what people want/fear. That and it's fun to think of an entire other world living along side you.

The Futureheads - One of my top 5 bands ever. I love all of the boys and I got to see them live. Not only that, it was in a little club and I was in the center at the front, I made eye contact with a couple of them and I sang every single word the whole time. After that I waited 2 hours to get their set list signed. Dave was first and he thanked me for coming, Jaff was next and he remembered/recognized me and said I looked like I was having fun singing in the footlights. I almost asked to marry him there XD Next was Ross and he shook my hand and signed it "Love Ross XOXO <3" Then Barry came out and appologized for the long wait. :D I cried a little on the way home I was so freaking happy.

Loreena McKennitt - I just love her style of music so much. Her new album is amazing. Way back in 9th grade in Dance class we did a dance to one of her songs. I think it was Mummers Dance, but I can't remember.

Peace Demonstrations - Mother Teresa once said "I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there." I think that is a good thing, because there are always those at anti war rallys that will, hypocritically, attempt to use violence to get their point across, and I think that is so wrong. I would prefer peace demonstrations because that gets the actual idea of anti-war across better. That's why I was in SPAN - student peace action network.

Space - Because every time I see this picture I could cry for want of experiencing it. I have wanted to be an astronaut since before I can remember. I have planned on being nothing but that for years. It's hard not to think about space, growing up a 5 minute drive from NASA and going to school with Astronaut's kids. Even now, as I pursue a new path I love everything that space stands for. Beauty, majesty, wonder, curiosity, danger, expansion. And the fact that we stand so tall on out tiny little plot of a planet in the great openness that is the rest of space.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: awake awake
Current Music: The Futureheads - A to B (it's on shuffle I swear!)


your average fangirl
Fri, Aug. 17th, 2007 02:09 pm

Note to self:

If you want to remain sane at work, at least in the eyes of those you work with, for goodness sake do not slash the boys! Really, not needed.

Self who is trying to work and not think about naughty things in the librarybecause boys smexing and books would kill my brain

Yeah, I was minding my own business in the back, fixing a cart of 900s to be shelved, when Chris walks in. Chris is super cute and surprisingly 30. Nathan, also cute, really funny and I think around 22-23, was all "Oh I'm almost ready for you" and Chris was all "No hurry" and my mind went O Rly? *slaps hand* Bad Heather. Needless to say I was thinking about things when I should have been shelving.

And is it bad that I actually considered who would be seme? Because Nathan would so top. Yeah, the younger, dark haired, taller one. I think I even know who would be good for drawing it ;)

*runs off to go back to work and write mental storiesnot think about them*

Current Location: work
Current Mood: naughty naughty


your average fangirl
Tue, Aug. 14th, 2007 02:18 am

what else do you do when not tired?Collapse )

Current Mood: sleepy finally sleepy


your average fangirl
Sun, Aug. 12th, 2007 06:21 pm
meme from anandrine

Comment and I'll give you a letter. In your journal, list 10 of your favorite songs that begin with that letter.

I got R, so, in no particular order:

Goldfrapp - Ride A White Horse
N.E.R.D. - Rock Star (Jason Nevins Remix)
Benassi Bros - Rumenian (Feat Violeta Original Version)
U2 - Running to Stand Still
Nidi D'Arac - Ronde Noe from Rough Guide to Italia Nova, srsly an awesome song.
Kyo - regardez moi
Radiohead - Rabbit In Your Headlights
Kasabian - Reason Is Treason
The Futureheads - The Return Of The Berserker
Flogging Molly - The rare ould times

And happy birthday to me. *rolls eyes* I'm 22 and I wake up and my body is all like Have pain! Have Nausea! Feel Old! Man, if each year gets worse form here I'm so dead before I'm 40.

And no one was able to come over and hang with me on my birthday ;_; So we're going to have it next weekend hopefully. But I still had cake! And will make lasagna. So there! Shame I don't get the birthday gift I really wanted. aka Anderson Cooper in a box.

wtf Flist? Why no Anderson Cooper for my b-day? I do not feel the love. ;p

ps. I would settle for the cut out of him if I must. XD I'm such a freak. I want Anderson for my birthday and Vincent D'Onofrio for Christmas.

Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: Flogging Molly - The rare ould times


your average fangirl
Thu, Aug. 9th, 2007 06:53 am
It's almost 7 and I just got home from the airport. Yeah, I drove. Shall I rewind?

Sunday, Mom drives the car Jimmy gave me up here. She gets lost, we go get her and then drive back. Then I find out the car had a gas leak of some sort. Yay. Monday we take it by a place to get fixed and then we take mom to the airport to fly home. Tuesday I get my car after it gets 567.12$ worth of fixings. X.x I love you mom.

So how do we get it home? I drive it. X.X DED. I died like 5 times and I sucked trying to get home. I was so upset that I was shaking and the first think I asked Magen was if I could have some alcohol. XD r that I practice stoping and starting and I've gotten better.

Then I drive from DFW to the house and I only died 2x. Once when I tried to start and then after that I kinda peeled out as I yelled at myself. After that I was good and I listened to U2 as comfort music and to distracr myself. Thn I died at my exit but I was okay. I got home and then had the drink I asked Magen for on Tuesday. 1/2 shot of Rum and a caprie sun. I am feeling more relaxed and need to sleep before I head into work.

Forgive typos. I R tired.


your average fangirl
Mon, Aug. 6th, 2007 02:19 pm
How will you be suspended from LJ? by Anonymous LJ User
Years on LJ
Hours left until your suspension40
Your crimeFailing to establish literary merit in your Harry/Draco/Ron/Seamus/Hagrid/Dobby/Bart Simpson circle jerk fic.
Who reported youalliewrites
Your fateYou buy a tropical island and start a whole new country, where fandom can live at peace, unmolested by those who do not understand. Two months later, the entire population is killed in the TezuRyo - TezuFuji ship wars.

Yay for an island! And I don't get banned for a while. I can back up everything yet ;) And I would so be on the TezuFuji side! We would so win!

Also am queenallie03 on GJ


your average fangirl
Sun, Aug. 5th, 2007 01:34 am
Livejournal deleted Pond.

Now, for some of you that might not mean much, save for the fact that LiveJournal/Six Apart is on another We R Teh Moral Masters of Mysterious Management! You sign on to your account one day.... will it be there the next? Oh the suspense means nothing to us. Just like you!

I, as a 5 year member and a 4 year paid member have actually grown upset enough to want to do something. What am I doing?

Requesting to know if I can have a refund if I am no longer pleased with the services rendered by the Six Apart Co.

Hit 'em where it hurts, right?

Oh yeah SA/LJ, you had to do this while I'm PMSing. I will tear your collective throats out with my teeth if I can.

Current Mood: pissed off beyond pissed off
Current Music: my angry yellings in my head, probably too explicit to list


your average fangirl
Tue, Jul. 31st, 2007 01:06 am

I have so much laundry and unpacking left to do. >< Everything is out of the apartment though, all cleaned and keys turned in.

Watched 1st ep of The Tudors. Yum.

But I have to get up and keep cleaning, so it's off to bed for me.

Current Mood: exhausted exhausted


your average fangirl
Sun, Jul. 29th, 2007 10:00 pm

So we got the majority of everything moved in with Magen now. All of the important things like the computer and cats and bed. oh, and me. I've a new address, again, so ask if you'd like it :)

Tomorrow will be filled with laundry, unpacking, more laundry, hanging up clothes, and trying to figure out the internet on my computer. Not too bad though, I can use the one in the media room.

And trying to get The Girls better adjusted. Rose is hacked. But Annie is just trying to play nice. Rose and Tom are already fighting. And he hangs outside my door hoping to get in. Silly boy. A sweety though. Jumped in my lap when I was on the computer.

Well I'm tired so I'm off to shove everything on the floor and go to bed.

Current Mood: sleepy sleepy


your average fangirl
Sat, Jul. 28th, 2007 09:29 pm
It's my last night at my apartment and rather than doing dishes and packing like I should be I have eaten 1/2 of a cheesecake, a small one mind, and done nothing to promote my moving.

I have been promoting my rapid decent into the levels of hell, thanks Journey :P

I haven't even been listening to music. How crazy is that?

*gets distracted* Oh yeah, I'm so royally screwed.

I think it's time for me to shut everything down and go to bed and get up early, not turn on my computer and then clean and pack.

Current Mood: amused amused


your average fangirl
Sat, Jul. 28th, 2007 03:31 am
Well let's see what I have left in my apartment....

My computer, but no desk or chairs. My bed, and a few pants on hangers. Enough clothes for tomorrow and Sunday. My make up, hair drier, straightener and the shower stuff I need. My dishes, of which some are being washed. My couch/chair, that I now feel bad that they hauled over and now we have to haul back. Cat stuffs.

Also, a whole bunch of trash.

Nothing on the walls but a clock.

Makes me feel emo because I'm just not in the apartment anymore. Oh well. 2 days and I won't be in here at all. Lyreal is having a time of it also. She's currently meowing like crazy in my bedroom. I know how much she hates change.

Really wish I had my truck so I could help move. All the gas is awful. I feel so bad about not unpacking, basically anything, also.

Well, I'll just wait to get internet for a sec, post this and go to bed. 7.5 hours to work tomorrow and then sleeping and trying to pack what little is left.

Current Mood: gloomy gloomy


your average fangirl
Wed, Jul. 25th, 2007 03:29 am
Because not everyone on my Flist has pesha to direct them to HILARIOUS Harry stuffs

If My F-List Wrote DH

Let me tell you that this is spot on, freaking funny as hell and everyone on my flist who ran out at midnight and then finished Book 7 before their life could go on must read this.

Oh, and Neville is my Harry Potter boyfriend.


I seriously need to be sleepy!!!!! >:o

Oh, and I need to make a shirt that says "Music is My Boyfriend" on the front and "Music is My Girlfriend" on the back. *nods* Craft time Magen!!

Current Mood: hyper hyper
Current Music: Cansei De Ser Sexy - Music is My Hot Hot Sex